October 24....

How do you tell someone you're really upset because of something that was said to you that offended you or hurt your feelings quite severely, without the person even knowing that it affected you? I guess sometimes i just get too depressed thinking and crying over it when it hurts so badly, until i reach the point that i do not dare to face the problem and settle it because im badly hurt or damaged emotionally, to do it.., it even adds the pressure because i care and love the person more than anyone else.. :( You know what? I suck and i'm a fool.. i hate myself!

My week/weekend was quite ok.. the only thing that helped took off all my hurtful thoughts and feelings temporarily was when i went to Sheila Majid's Studio on Sunday afternoon for Adrian and Jen's Wedding Dinner Special Number rehearsal.. It was a blast.. Because in church you just don't see people like Joel Wong and Ken abuse the instruments like that, .. ONLY in a studio.. And well, ask them, we had a blast.. i've NEVER seen this musical side of the 3 (boss went home after we finished rehearsing his wedding special numbers) of us playing this kind of wild music and really REALLY having a good jam. Well playing in church has it's limitations.. NO circular music =) Yup, if we enforce the rules in church, we have to be a good example and not do it too. Was definitely one of THE BEST studios i've ever been to (Cmon gimme a break, it's Sheila Majid's Personal Studio) :P .. i've been to so many but all of them just suck... badly maintained, smells of smoke, sucky lighting (Yes we had Awesome lightings!) , Nice floor, and last but not least, High End Equipments.. stuff that i love playing on!...

Ok gtg now, need to go to G2k and KLCC for shopping... =)

Outbreak!

The weekend was great! It started on Friday night when we went to a gig at KL Jam Asia, in Hartamas, starring Edge of Fire, Qings & Kweens, Naked Breed and lastly, my exteacher.. Bejaya, together with Mozad. Was great... was there with Leen Leen, Serene, Barry, & Daniel... We definitely had a blast... I don't know, it's just weird because im like 'related' to most of them who were performing like Yings from Edge of Fire.. i grew up with him i church last time before he left, and his guitarist is Brian Siew's classmate.. Then Mozad, malaysia's best bassist, whom ive known personally for a long long time, and playing along with him is Bejaya, my exteacher. Then last but not least, Jai, from Naked Breed is Seken's brother in-law.... was a good night..

Oh yeah i forgot! Nick gave me a 'new' hairdo.. making me look abit gayish... no more spikee hair for me... hehe :D

Just got back from a movie with leen leen at 1 utama.. we watched Sky High... hehe.. i like :D
*Yawn* I'm tired .. want to sleep sleep ... lazy to write long long posts...

Xmas...

Haih... Should i play for the coming christimas presentation? Should I? Aih .. i have no idea. 1/4 of me says Yes and the other 3/4 says No... Xmas songs are NOT that fun to me... boooring.. Easter songs are much much (when i say Much i do mean it) lively.. and that means it's more of a challenge to play it.. and more Fun too..

Mebe i should take a break from playing for xmas.. let someone else play.. so i can take a break from those tight scheduled sound checks and demands.. i dunno.. gotta think about it.. Also, youth camp is most prolly right after xmas so it's gonna be a tight schedule for me.. just like last year..

aih... think chew... THINK! prob don't want to play.... but i'll see..

Down at the pit, nowhere to run or hide...

When something is tempered/broken/hurt, it will NEVER be the same again. In this case, it's my heart, my emotions. Somehow it will never be the same again, no matter how much effort has been put to rectify or to fix it.

Is it that hard to tell someone the truth about how you feel? I don't know...
U know what, im not in the mood to go on writing.. there's just too much to say but i just don't want to.... there's just too much troubling my heart and emotions now... I think i better go now, before i say more stupid things that mean nothing to no one.

This life is so over-rated. People only want the best of you, whenever and wherever they want it.. and then leave you alone to decompose for the next... only god knows how long, before they need you again... Well, is this what human's that supposedly say that they 'care' and 'love' you, do to you? I question myself that each and everytime. People only want the best of you, nothing else, and to make it even better, the CLOSER people want it even better. I've gave up trying to figure that out, yet still very upset and emotional about it, eventhough i try my best not to. Well, humans like me only get emotional only if they care so much about the person that is doing this to you... whether it's non-intentional or done on purpose.. right? *.........pls*

Well, things that were said or promised to be done were not done.. even the smallest of things. It's just to show how much that someone value you and how important you are to him/her.. eventhough they say that you are..

It's like what the song, 'Best Of You', says, " Were you born to Resist of be Abused?" .. I guess i was abused..

This life is so empty, and best of all, it's way over-rated...