November 29...

OMGoodness i didn't realise it has been sometime since i last blogged. Lauranne MADE me do this.
I went for a camp! CAMP! FINALLY!... 2 Friday's ago. Gawd i had fun but the work load was insane... Being a RR cmdr ain't that easy. Not going to talk much about camp but i'll just explain in brief. I was in-charge of building the traditional Council Fire for the night of them camp and it's quite a huge task. Took 3 hours to chop up the wood needed, together with uncle Micheal Chang giving me a hand. Some of the wood logs were as big as Mabel Wong i dare say.. my hands hurt so badly after that. The fire for that night was great, the fire lasted from 8pm all the way to 7am in the morning.. we used it to reheat some BBQ left over from the previous night, for breakfast. We went River Trotting for about an hour.. well, going with little kids isn't that fun you know, but heck, we're there to take care of them. I have to admit, we had heaps of fun. During the river trotting activity, i got to test my pair of Teva's that i got 2 months back. I was really impressed by the grip it had on the wet rocks are river bed. I'm going to get a new pair for normal use and use my current one as a dedicated one for camping.. there goes another 240 bucks.. :( I got back from camp with 18 mosquito bites, including the 3 on my butt. Ouch. And also a sunburn.. bad bad one.. i think i got it when i was chopping the wood under the hot sun. :( I think i really overworked myself at camp. On monday, miaowkat and i couldn't help but to get our bodies 'tuned' in the massage parlour, by our regular masseurs. What a relieve.. =)

The last 2 weeks have been bad. Last saturday i found out my grandpa's kidney totally 100% faied and have to go for permanent dialysis ='( I miss all the good memories i used to have with my grandpa =( I can't get it anymore because of his condition .. we all know his time is coming up because of his heart, kidney, and stomach issues :(
And then there are issues with people and matters of the heart that are unsettled. Hurts, and a tinge of anger still lies deep down in my heart... Well .. Life is life... you have to live with all this kinds of things.

Anyway, here are some photos from camp.. a few photos of my sooooo cute baby niece and my nephews too... taken a few weeks ago during grandpa's 80th bday lunch..

November 11...

Yay! I finally got my request! I'm NOT playing for Christmas..!! WooHoo!! Reason 1.) Im NOT interested to play (u all know why.. don't ask). 2) Youth camp is right after Christmas and i have alot to do.. 3) I prefer Easter songs.. more rock-ish and more to my style.. for christmas it's better to give Thom a shot.. more to his jazz style.. =)
But u guys know the main reason why i don't want to play la.. that thing that happen with Ps Chris has turned my head around and pissed me off..

This last few days has been hard for me.. hurting and etc.. Don't know how to handle it... only God can help.... haih... only way to describe my self.. A Flower quickly fading, or just a wave tossed in the huge ocean... =(

Going out with bear soon.. have to get ready... =)

November 7...

Wow.. Last week was jsut.. WOW. Busy Busy and BUSY. Wedding preparations, Hair Cut, etc..
Got me hair cut from Nick at Sense Studio with Leen Leen.. I like.. Was shopping the whole week.. bought quite an amount of shirts from G2000, The Executive and etc.. For those of you who know me well, I HATE SHOPPING, so yea, it was pure torture. Got meself a new pair of shoes and etc. Last month and this month i have a spending record of over Rm2k.. am i crazy or what? I think i am, i was spending so much and i didn't realise it would be this much, but heck...

Adrian and Jen's wedding was good. Actually it was one of the most relaxed wedding ceremonies i've ever been to. The day started on Saturday morning at 7.15am with us groomsman at his house in DP before leaving to 'get' the bride at her house in Cheras. Reached Jen's house at 8am. Gawd, getting in was HARD.. all thanks to the bridesmaids. We had all sorts of stuff like eating chili padi, waxing leg (and YES, I was the only ONE who got it.. idiot), was conned into giving so many red packets and we were so stupid to give a big one for the first one. Crap. There's more stuff that happened bu all in all we got the bride and left for the ceremony. Ceremony was good .... Mr and Mrs Adrian Lee..

Hehe, i checked into my room at JW Marriott at about 4.15pm and right after that i proceeded for my sound check at the dinner hall for me special number. Dinner was good.. and you know WHAT???!! During the photo slideshow, they showed a photo of me and my leg getting WAXED! All Chooi Mun's Fault, and plus she's the bridesmaid that walked down the aisle with me. urgh. URGH! The dinner guests was just laughing.. expected.. hehe. Was pretty embarassing! All in all the dinner ended well... Ps Kenneth and Sandra Chin was sitting at me table, it was fun... at least now they know how lame we guys are.. lol

Next morning... oh gawd.. in the last 48 hours i only had 4 hours of sleep and pure WORK. so i was dead exhausted. And the stupid thing was that i had to wake up early to play in Cheras.. Dang.. wasted my sleep in Marriott.. and you know what's worse?? I found out that i had 2 nights stay instead of 1 night in marriot, when i checked outt.. Idiot. I checked out very early in the morning.. Missed practice in cheras (who needs practice anyway??) lol. After cheras i went for Grandpa's 80th Bday celebration and later rushed to 1 Utama to find a gift for someone i love so dearly.. was hard to find the right one but yea.. took time.. and i was quite broke.. only had like 100 bucks left in my wallet.. so yea.. I was running out of time and i left 1 utama after getting the gift (btw, who wants to go to 1 utama on weekends??? It's Packed!) and went to pick Mr and Mrs Adrian Lee from the hotel, for evening service. I was exhausted. We had dinner later and went back to their suite in the hotel and later went to the VIP lounge to chill there. I think i was chilling a lil' too much when i realised i just downed 6 glasses of Bollingers. Idiot. My head was dizzy, i was dead sleepy and i had to deliver the gift and the person lives so far away (and it was late already).. It was very VERY tiring that i had to stop the car 3-4 times during the journey to rest. It's THAT bad. It's not a matter of keeping my eyes open. It WOULDN'T stay open eventhough i forced it.. It was hard, but i hope the sacrifice was worth it. Love knows no boundaries. I'm quite hurt and upset with the person for something that was said, but yea, when it's someone's bday and you love them so so dearly, you just can't help it but to do something really sweet, no matter what it costs... I dropped it at her doorstep and yea..I got home at about 2am i think.. I dropped and knocked off immediately... So yea, could you now feel how it was like to live my day, bearing in mind i had 4 hours of sleep in the last 2 days. This is quite a long post, also to make up for me not blogging for sometime..

October 24....

How do you tell someone you're really upset because of something that was said to you that offended you or hurt your feelings quite severely, without the person even knowing that it affected you? I guess sometimes i just get too depressed thinking and crying over it when it hurts so badly, until i reach the point that i do not dare to face the problem and settle it because im badly hurt or damaged emotionally, to do it.., it even adds the pressure because i care and love the person more than anyone else.. :( You know what? I suck and i'm a fool.. i hate myself!

My week/weekend was quite ok.. the only thing that helped took off all my hurtful thoughts and feelings temporarily was when i went to Sheila Majid's Studio on Sunday afternoon for Adrian and Jen's Wedding Dinner Special Number rehearsal.. It was a blast.. Because in church you just don't see people like Joel Wong and Ken abuse the instruments like that, .. ONLY in a studio.. And well, ask them, we had a blast.. i've NEVER seen this musical side of the 3 (boss went home after we finished rehearsing his wedding special numbers) of us playing this kind of wild music and really REALLY having a good jam. Well playing in church has it's limitations.. NO circular music =) Yup, if we enforce the rules in church, we have to be a good example and not do it too. Was definitely one of THE BEST studios i've ever been to (Cmon gimme a break, it's Sheila Majid's Personal Studio) :P .. i've been to so many but all of them just suck... badly maintained, smells of smoke, sucky lighting (Yes we had Awesome lightings!) , Nice floor, and last but not least, High End Equipments.. stuff that i love playing on!...

Ok gtg now, need to go to G2k and KLCC for shopping... =)

Outbreak!

The weekend was great! It started on Friday night when we went to a gig at KL Jam Asia, in Hartamas, starring Edge of Fire, Qings & Kweens, Naked Breed and lastly, my exteacher.. Bejaya, together with Mozad. Was great... was there with Leen Leen, Serene, Barry, & Daniel... We definitely had a blast... I don't know, it's just weird because im like 'related' to most of them who were performing like Yings from Edge of Fire.. i grew up with him i church last time before he left, and his guitarist is Brian Siew's classmate.. Then Mozad, malaysia's best bassist, whom ive known personally for a long long time, and playing along with him is Bejaya, my exteacher. Then last but not least, Jai, from Naked Breed is Seken's brother in-law.... was a good night..

Oh yeah i forgot! Nick gave me a 'new' hairdo.. making me look abit gayish... no more spikee hair for me... hehe :D

Just got back from a movie with leen leen at 1 utama.. we watched Sky High... hehe.. i like :D
*Yawn* I'm tired .. want to sleep sleep ... lazy to write long long posts...

Xmas...

Haih... Should i play for the coming christimas presentation? Should I? Aih .. i have no idea. 1/4 of me says Yes and the other 3/4 says No... Xmas songs are NOT that fun to me... boooring.. Easter songs are much much (when i say Much i do mean it) lively.. and that means it's more of a challenge to play it.. and more Fun too..

Mebe i should take a break from playing for xmas.. let someone else play.. so i can take a break from those tight scheduled sound checks and demands.. i dunno.. gotta think about it.. Also, youth camp is most prolly right after xmas so it's gonna be a tight schedule for me.. just like last year..

aih... think chew... THINK! prob don't want to play.... but i'll see..

Down at the pit, nowhere to run or hide...

When something is tempered/broken/hurt, it will NEVER be the same again. In this case, it's my heart, my emotions. Somehow it will never be the same again, no matter how much effort has been put to rectify or to fix it.

Is it that hard to tell someone the truth about how you feel? I don't know...
U know what, im not in the mood to go on writing.. there's just too much to say but i just don't want to.... there's just too much troubling my heart and emotions now... I think i better go now, before i say more stupid things that mean nothing to no one.

This life is so over-rated. People only want the best of you, whenever and wherever they want it.. and then leave you alone to decompose for the next... only god knows how long, before they need you again... Well, is this what human's that supposedly say that they 'care' and 'love' you, do to you? I question myself that each and everytime. People only want the best of you, nothing else, and to make it even better, the CLOSER people want it even better. I've gave up trying to figure that out, yet still very upset and emotional about it, eventhough i try my best not to. Well, humans like me only get emotional only if they care so much about the person that is doing this to you... whether it's non-intentional or done on purpose.. right? *.........pls*

Well, things that were said or promised to be done were not done.. even the smallest of things. It's just to show how much that someone value you and how important you are to him/her.. eventhough they say that you are..

It's like what the song, 'Best Of You', says, " Were you born to Resist of be Abused?" .. I guess i was abused..

This life is so empty, and best of all, it's way over-rated...

September 26...

A friend is somebody who loves us with understanding, as well as emotion

Robert Louis Stevenson

Hey, I hope this will brighten up your day... =)

*at a Crossroad...*

I am very upset. I don't really know how to explain the situation I am in, but I really feel betrayed by someone so close to me... how the heck can u even have the heart to do this? It was said in a different way, but i know what you are trying to tell me... but the thing is, Why can't you be honest with me? Lack of Trust? Understanding? People can tell u that they care for you, but can't be honest with you... what is that??! ... I am dumbfounded...

Well... Life is life.... No matter what, i'll move on... *shrugs*

September 21

How necessary it is to cultivate a spirit of joy. To act lovingly is to begin to feel loving, and certainly to act joyfully brings joy to others, which in turn makes one feel joyful.

Dorothy Day

Perplexed.. Hurt?

Let me see, i got 2 complimentary RM250 STOMP tickets and went with dad on saturday.. best seats in the house, and best of all, it was great! Well it at least helped my bad day that was not getting better at all. Well, saw a number of church guys at STOMP too.. glad i got those tickets. And best of all, i just added another guitar to my collection :) anyway... on to the next boat..

Has anyone whom you hold so dearly close to your heart, told u something but actually went against it and compromised on what that was said? Well, i feel that way now.. it actually does hurt badly, especially finding it out from someone else... :( Humans will definitely feel confused, puzzled, and especially hurt, when someone that's so close to yr heart actually ignores you or not talk to you.. insensitive? I don't know... i gave up trying to figure that out because it hurts me more & more each time.. If u actually do care and love the person so much, u would take the effort and initiative to say hi, or to talk... in my case, i've done so much that i'm left so dry and can't give anymore, not because i don't want to, but because i have nothing after giving too much. Well, maybe there are answers that i do not know.. answers that will leave me devastated... or weeping on my knees? Well, God holds everything in His hands, as much as emotions may say otherwise, i choose to trust in Him.

Sigh, not done redesigning my room.. back to measuring some stuff so i can get it done with soon..

Mankind's attempt in becoming retarded

Well, people do wanna look retarded sometimes.. i think *wink* Those photos up there are just a jist of what weird people like us are capable of.. or not. Sorry guys .. hehe *grins*

Well just went to my normal massage today after 3 months... using my usual masseur. 1 hour of excruciating pain.. especially i'm known to be stiff and blocked on my lower leg and my neck.... he'll tell me to 'yan' for that few minutes while he 'releases' that area.. lemme give u an eye opener.. it's REALLY (and when i say REALLY i meant it) REALLY REALLY pain! As usual i was holding on to the bed so tight with my mouth wide open, trying to scream. But for me, it's worth it all.. every second of that excruciating 1 hour.. my body feels great now. Got scolding from my masseur when he found out that i carry a 35 kg box (my guitar effects) every week, in and out for practice/performance/worship... Haih.. older people always tend to make sure that we young people don't make mistakes like they did in the school of hard knocks... it's good.. but my IDIOTIC light case that i ordered from the states is not here yet!!! ARGH! that means more massage sessions to remedy it.

Ok, off i go now.. 2nd round at ikea.. re-designing most parts of my room.. Sigh, i hate shopping.

September 8...

Grace and gratitude belong together like heaven and earth. Grace evokes gratitude like the voice an echo. Gratitude follows grace as thunder follows lightning.

Karl Barth

Love is not getting.... but giving... it is goodness and honor and peace and pure living - yes, love is that and it is the best thing in the world and the thing that lives the longest.

Henry Van Dyke

...Love is not getting.. but giving - After reading what i wrote, it evoked such a sense of regret and painful memories , .. being hurt by the ones i love & the ones i hold closest to my heart. I think i just gave too much, i can't give anymore.. not because i don't want to, but because i'm all dried up.. nothing left. It' s the actions and the little things that you do that projects the amount of love that you have for that someone.. actions speaks louder that words. This is why I tend to avoid people who do that, just so that i would not hurt myself even worse. It's hard to love, i have hurt myself way to far now. Is it this hard? :( I don't know what to do anymore.. =(

Marche..!!

FINALLY, after months of planning, my dearest sis & I found a day that both of us were free to go and have a great night at Movenpick Marche at The Curve..

Met her up at 5pm at Sense Studio, (Aiyoh, now we are sharing the same hair stylist, nicholas, due to her usual styist's migration to Perth.. both bro & sis sharing the same stylist, cute.... hehe) then she got her hair cut..! It's really cute and sweet btw, rin rin?

Then, yum yum, we went to marche, got our 'passports' and got in, and looked around,... and 10 min later we realised that we were not that hungry yet so we left and came back later. The food there is great.. i mean for the fact that we planned to go there for a loooong time. lol . Rin rin had Grilled Salmon, and I had Lamb Shank... Twas a great night... got to hang out after a long time.. =) and now i'm not really in the mood to blog and i don't plan to elaborate either... for our privacy.

So rin, back to our old spot in 1utama again yar? i dislike The Curve, i felt TOTALLY weird there.. for the fact that i don't go there often! .. lalala... hehe

For the rest of you, i recommend Marche! and Yes, i'm talking to you JOEL WONG KEN M'NG! Take Salby there! She'll love it!

Math Geekiness...

Theorem: All numbers are equal.

Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then

a + b = t

(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)

a^2 - b^2 = ta - tb

a^2 - ta = b^2 - tb

a^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4

(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2

a - t/2 = b - t/2

a= b

So all numbers are the same, and math is pointless... ya? =)

48th year of Independence?

In all my years, i guess that this years' independence day was the best i could ever wish for.. Yesterday, Ai Leen dragged me to go get a hair cut with her at Sense Studio, DU at bout 7pm.. i think, am i right, leen? hehe ... i went willingly lar... not being forced.. Well, i got a brand new hair cut (not much diff anyway) and leen leen got hers too... =) She looks great btw! .. but i look err... almost the same .. lol.. Right leen? Later we went to 1U to kai kai.. and later we decided to go to dataran merdeka for the ermm.. FIREWORKS!!.. hehe *grins*.. i don't know how this happened, but it was surreal, being stuck in the traffic jam right in front on dataran merdeka at 12 midnight n 31st August & munching on some twiggies whilst enjoying the fireworks? Coincidence? I don't think so.. =) Those were front row seats for the both of us to watch the fireworks display in my car.. hehe and in leen leen's words.."Kerja Bunga la!!, not Bunga Api!" Funny la you.. =) so cute..

To cut the long story short, after the fireworks, we tar pau'd the best nasi lemak we have ever ate, in bangsar, highly recommended by leen of course. Hey leen ar, Sorry i had to go back home and made you eat nasi lemak alone, i wanted to enjoy the grub with you, very much, but yea.. Didn't want to intrude at that time of the night. Sorry yea.. i wanted to, Really.. =( Sigh.. But... All in all i had the best time i had in a long time and being in the 'jam-packed' dataran merdeka for the first time on 31st August was great, and the bonus was to be there with you... =) hehe.. POIPLE fireworks! It was just surreal.. =)

.......

There's just one word to sum up my whole weekend. PATHETIC. Don't even want to talk about it so... NEXT...

Last night after a long long loooooong day at church, joel, his dad, and I went to uncle eng leong's house to watch the chelsea-arsenal match. I have NOTHING to say about the match. No comments. Even kane & oliver said that it was supposed to be a draw! Drogba's goal was a TOTAL fluke! He 'accidentally'' hit the ball with his knee past senderos and lehmann. Even Man Utd supporters like kane said that the match was supposed to be a draw and the goal was a total fluke. I mean even joel himself said that it was a fluke.

Argh, nvm.. this is just the start of the EPL season. On the other hand, it was chelsea's new signing, Mickael Essien's Debut on the pitch yesterday after an overpriced £24.4million transfer from lyon. Even an unknown player like Essien is worth more than twice the price of Michael Owen? Roman Abramovich have nothing else to do with his money. What's wrong with the world this days man?! lol


..............

Bewitched..

Finally! I was able to watch Bewitched! Pretty good movie but i think it's a lil' too short.. an hour and a half. Went to 1utama to watch it with ai leen at 9.45pm... Movie ended bout 11 something pm and then we took a long drive to KL and yea.... I got back quite late after sending her back... Hehe i did some cruel stuff and she threatened to write it up on her blog *bluek*.. hehe ok ok. In all really, i had a great time with you ai leen, it was great, and i hope you had a great time with me (hope you're reading this) =) *smiles*

On the other hand, here's an interview with Bono, from U2, one of the very few stars that i truly look up too and a rock icon that is very generous in helping the underpriviledged and i truly respect him. Bono is one of the few christian lads that 'made it big' in the music industry, whilst keeping his faith and christian values up to par, and it is personified in the music that he writes and perform. I am truly encouraged by this interview.. Bono: Grace over Karma

Victim of man's wrath.. Jeremy

WARNING: Explicit Photos, View with discernment. Parental Guidance Suggested. Kidding... Anyway, there are photos way WORST than the ones i posted (for the sake of censorship), go figure.

Well, our dear pal that we grew up with, Jeremy is leaving on the 25th of this month for Michigan, USA. Aaron & I thought that it would be good to do something for him.. a surprise.. a REALLY unsuspecting one for him. So well, I tried to gather most of his close pals, whilst trying to make the party a small one & more personal for him.. To spend time with his close buddies.

So the day came (last thursday). Ollie & Me had to take him out and tell him a few white lies like, "The rest of the guys will go out with you soon, coz they are busy and tied up" and etc. So it was still hazy then, but we still insisted that we go for Steamboat at Manjalara after we're done with the movie. Movie ended at 5 something and i somehow had to find a way to kill 2 hours because the party was only then at 7.30pm.. Sigh that was hard. So after that 2 hours, when everyone was ready they called me. And that's when everything we planned for the night started, and so we headed to my car for manjalara (which actually the dinner is at Italiannis in 1 utama itself), so we got into the car and i went like "Eh, actually i don't feel like eating steamboat, let's have pasta".. lol He got a bit frustrated and annoyed.. lol .. I mislead him to ease any suspicion of the suprise farewell thingie (and it did work out very well, he never suspected anything after all).

So we went to Italiannis and everything went well as planned.. Could see people like joel & seken voraciously consuming all the pasta and pizza's & left everyone starving.. kidding. Siu May had a brilliant idea and got a pack of Face Paint with assorted colors. So yea, you can see the aftermath in the photos above. The rule was that he is NOT allowed wash the paint of his face till he gets home. It was fun when everyone started treating his face like a piece of canvas. A new art piece called the 'Mona KohPunk Lisa' by DaVinci.. i mean.. Us. Plus making lots and lots of noise in a fine dining restaurant!

After the party we went to dreamworld and later made jeremy fit into a bare back dress (because it couldn't be zipped up).. but think of it.. Jeremy.. In a dress?! You gotta be kidding me.II'm willing to pay big bucks to see his in a dress and with paint all over his face. We all had out little photo sessions with him in that awful blue dress.. Was kinda kinky.. If you look at the photos above, notice the proximity we're all having from jeremy when walking around the complex.. lol. Just don't want to be seen with this guy who has face paint all over his face and hands with the weirdest inscribings on it, with everyone staring and talking/whispering bout him. Anyway, we later went and play pool and foosball and got called it a night at about 12 midnight. Hopefully this is a night that jeremy will not forget, that his friends care & love him (in a good way of course). We'll miss you when you go to the states, pal... Remember us when you're on MTV =) Love you lots!